Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
