If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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