that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
