I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
