i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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