yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
