so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
