i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
