I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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