I am in a vortex of obligation.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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