i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
