Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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