Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
