A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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