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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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