She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
