Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
