I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
