Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
home. puking in laundry basket.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
