So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
My vagina is very pro this idea
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
