Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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