yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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