what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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