All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
