ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
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All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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