there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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