Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize