it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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