im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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