Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
