Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize