THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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