i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
