gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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