she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
