I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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