i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
