She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
