Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
