I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
