His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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