I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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