People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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