Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
