Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
