If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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