I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
ttyl tear gas
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
