Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
