she woke up with a sticky ear
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
