I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
