Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
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He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
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Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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