I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
