forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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