Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
