How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
