Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry jpm5443 hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(513): View more from Ohio

Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am

Fav 7 2385 815
share tweet
(702): View more from Nevada

was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars

Fav 35 1529 4559
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(952): View more from Minnesota

Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.

Fav 27 1600 7595
share tweet
(908): View more from New Jersey

My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole

Fav 4 2340 1225
share tweet
(360): View more from Washington

Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary

Fav 14 2891 4304
share tweet
(254): View more from Texas

He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.

Fav 12 940 2397
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(303): View more from Colorado

Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...

Fav 7 1728 781
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(443): View more from Maryland

We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great

Fav 2 991 596
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(949): View more from California

Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises

Fav 0 94 19
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT