is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
