Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
