Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize