Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
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