I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
