Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
