Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
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