If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
