direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.