we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize