My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
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Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
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There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.