Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut