Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
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