i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
